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Second match of this group of fights is pitting the Horde from Ted Dekker's Books of History series against the Calormenes from C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia. These two are dangerous conquerors of the desert from their respective novel series. But which one of them would beat the other in a fight? Since these guys both fight in armies, I'll see what'll happen in a five-on-five match.

First up, you have the Horde. Two thousand years in the future, a deadly disease called the Raison (rey-zon) Strain. It wiped out most of humanity, but Elyon (the series' God figure) remade the Earth with a new first-born, Tanis. However, everything went wrong when Tanis accepted the fruit and water of Teeleh (the series' devil figure). That released something called the Scabbing Disease, which clouds the mind from truth and causes extremely painful sores to appear all over the body. This created the Horde, a group of merciless warriors who vowed to destroy all those who still follow Elyon's laws. They bring to the fight...

The short sword
Weighted chain
And the throwing knife

On the other end, you have the Calormenes. They were founded by Archenlandish outlaws who fled across the desert. What do they do? Form the largest empire on the main continent of Narnia. Their main lords, called Tarkaans, are experienced warlords. Their main goal is to conquer all the northern lands and claim them for their homeland. The thing that going to give them an edge in the fight is that they view their opponents as underlings, which will make things easier to bring that sword down. They bring...

The scimitar
Composite bow
And the dagger

In short-range weapons, we have the Horde's short sword and the Calormene scimitar. Quite obviously, the scimitar has a reach advantage. But there's one problem, it's only a SLASHING weapon. The short sword can stab, going right through Calormene chain mail, and it can also hack away at enemies. My edge goes to the short sword.

Edge: Horde

For mid-range weapons, the Horde's sickle goes up against the Calormenes' spear. Both are vicious weapons, but the sickle can't do squat to Calormene chain mail. It'll probably be a big hit, but it won't do much. The spear is practically a guaranteed kill-shot with every strike and the Horde only focus on armoring their joints.

Edge: Calormenes

For long-range weapons, I think that it's pretty obvious. The Horde's weighted chain can do more damage than the Calormenes composite bow, but the bow has a longer range and is far more accurate. We'll be seeing more kills from the bow than the chain.

Edge: Calormenes

Now, for special weapons. It's the Calormenes' dagger against the Horde's throwing knife. Both are good surprise attack weapons, but the throwing knife has a lot more options. It can be used as a close-quarters weapon as well as a long-range weapon. The dagger's pretty much confined to being a close-range weapon.

Edge: Horde

Onto the X-Factors. In training, the Calormenes are exceptionally trained soldiers. They are trained to deal with almost anything from a land that's got Talking Beasts. The Horde, they might have SOME training, but it's minimal in comparison to the Calormene training. The Calormenes have the edge in training.

Now, let's talk intimidation. The Horde can terrify the Forest Guard. They can appear out of the dunes without anyone knowing they were ever there, kill everyone, and leave. With Calormenes, they might have SOME form of intimidation due to their army size, but if someone can come in, attack, and then leave, that's saying something. The Horde edge out in intimidation.

Next up is tactics. These two are great tactical thinkers. The Horde are experts at using guerilla warfare, hit-and-run tactics. The Calormenes can use tactics to great effect. These two draw in the area of tactics in my opinion.

Finally is brutality. The Calormenes DESTROY their enemies—killing every male, down to the child who was born yesterday. Horde kill their captives by breaking their bones, causing PAINFUL deaths and not spilling a drop of blood. Once again, close call, but the Horde barely wins in brutality.

Now, onto the match: five Horde vs. five Calormene soldiers. This match is entirely based on opinion and I'm trying to be as impartial as possible. Since they're both adept at fighting in the desert, that's where the match will take place.


Five Calormene soldiers sat in a circle, drinking water, sharpening their weapons, and laughing at some small talk. Not far away, five Horde soldiers were hiding in the desert dunes. One gestured to the others. A Horde member pulled out a weighted chain and began swinging it over his head.

Horde: 5

Calormenes: 5

The Horde then let go of the weight, sending it flying at the Calormenes. It missed and landed in the sand right in next to the Calormenes. Their opponents were alerted to their presence and immediately stood up, ready for battle. Two pulled out scimitars, two got spears, and the last one got a bow. He shot an arrow into the Horde's midst. But the five vanished into the desert.

The Calormenes looked around the dunes with wary expressions. Only a yard away, one of the Horde appeared and pulled out a throwing knife before tossing it at one of the Calormene spearmen. It hit him in the neck and caused him to fall over.

Calormenes: 4

The Calormene archer immediately wheeled over and fired his bow at the Horde, hitting him in the center of the chest, killing him instantly.

Horde: 4

The Calormenes then began scouting the desert. One of the Horde sprung out at the remaining spearman with a sickle in hand. He slashed with it, but only grazed him and doing nothing to the Calormene chainmail. The spearman smirked before running the Horde through with his spear. He then booted the Scab's corpse over before spitting on it.

Horde: 3

The Horde wielding the weighted chain appeared two yards away from the two Calormenes with scimitars. He swung the chain over his head before tossing it at one of the swordsmen, hitting him in the head. The Calormene's helmet proved to be no protection as it snapped his neck like a twig.

Calormenes: 3

The Horde began swinging the chain over his head before throwing at the Calormene. It missed and hit the desert sand. The Calormene began running towards him with his scimitar in hand. The Horde began pulling the chain back, but before he could, the Calormene was already on him and brought his scimitar slashing through his gut and neck.

Horde: 2

The archer pulled back an arrow, ready for another Horde to appear. One did, right in front of him. He punched right through the bow and stabbed the archer with a knife. He shoved the bowman back onto the ground.

Calormenes: 2

The remaining spearman quickly regrouped with the one with the scimitar. The two remaining Horde weren't far away. One was wielding a sickle while the other hand a short-sword and throwing knives. He nodded as he pulled out his two remaining knives. He threw both of them at the Calormenes...and they both missed. The Calormenes waited as one of the Horde appeared and brought a sickle slashing at the spearman. It did next to nothing other than knocking him down. He grabbed his spear and hit the Horde with the butt of it. The Horde brought the sickle down, breaking the spear in half. The Horde brought his sickle up and brought it in another slash. The Calormene ducked under it before stabbing the Horde in the chest with the spearhead he still had. The Horde fell over, choking on his own blood.

Horde: 1

The Calormene looked around to see the remaining Horde. He brought the spearhead up...but felt a stabbing pain in his gut. He saw the Horde had his short sword in hand and it was sticking into his stomach. The Horde pulled his sword out before bringing it across the Calormene's face, sending him to the ground.

Calormenes: 1

The remaining Calormene yelled as he slashed with his scimitar. The Horde blocked with his sword and deflected the blow before stabbing out. The Calormene evaded the strike, but felt the stab nick a few of his chain mail rings. He blocked another strike from the Horde before reaching into his belt and pulling out his dagger. He stabbed it into the Horde's gut. The Horde gasped as the Calormene pulled the blade out of his gut. He fell to his knees, clutching his wound. The Calormene then brought his scimitar slashing through the Horde's neck, beheading him.

Horde: 0

The Calormene raised his scimitar up and shouted, "FOR TISROC!"

Winner: Calormenes

Out of a thousand battles, the Horde only claimed three hundred and eighty-nine kills in comparison to the Calormenes' six hundred and eleven.

Short Sword: 160
Sickle: 109
Weighted Chain: 40
Throwing Knife: 80
Kills: 389

Scimitar: 145
Spear: 180
Composite Bow: 250
Dagger: 36
Kills: 611

Horde: 47
Calormenes: 53

Horde: 58
Calormenes: 42

Horde: 50
Calormenes: 50

Horde: 59
Calormenes: 41

Though the Horde had the edges in most X-Factors, the Calormenes proved that their superior training and weaponry. The Horde wasn't armored in the right way to withstand the Calormenes' weaponry and their own weapons couldn't hit consistently or get through the chain mail.

In this battle of desert conquerors, it looks like the people of the empire and the ones with good training ultimately won out.
The Horde from Ted Dekker's (awesome) Books of History series vs. The Calormenes from C.S. Lewis' Narnia series.

I've actually been planning this match for a while and...I'm kinda surprised at how the Calormenes prevailed.

Next week's match: Insanus Abe vs. Karitoho-Iron (It's a battle between two of Planet Insania's most notorious evil clones.)
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Revanchist Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011
Where did you get that Calormen was founded by Archenlanders?
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2011
Dimension-Dino Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2011
Bro, scimitars can be used as stabbing weapons, too. The reason the Kilij didn't stab was because it was difficult and it was more of a slashing weapons. Real scimitars CAN stab even if they're curved.

Evidence is HERE with the Shamshir, a Persian scimitar: [link]
MadnessAbe Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Awesome! I knew that training would be a key factor!

(sigh) tonight, might not be such a great fight. I'm going for Pancho Villa, but I've got a feeling the Native American curse of the show is gonna prevail...
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
Hey, I'm looking forward to it. It's the classic cowboys and Indians deal. I don't really care who wins. I just wanna see the match!
MadnessAbe Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, you're right! I should just watch and enjoy it! But seriously, Pancho Villa is one of my favorite historical figures! VIVA MEXICO! VIVA MEXICO! VIVA MEXICO!

Also, I found out next week will put up both our final episodes of the season: French Foreign Legion vs Gurkhas and Vampires vs Zombies.

Point of interest, the Gurkhas use this knife: [link]

It's an absolute beauty. It's my fave. :D
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
So, he's to you what guys like Winston Churchill, Alexander the Great, and such are to ME?

I orginally thought Vampires vs. Zombies was a stupid idea, but, after watching a trailer of the fight, I have to admit that it looks cool.

And I know about the awesome kukri knife. My grandma gave me one as a late graduation present.
MadnessAbe Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I mean, Pancho was a hero to the people of Mexico, heck he's got a kick butt 'stache to go with him!

I saw the preview of Vamps vs Zombs: [link]

Oh my friggin gosh, this is gonna be bloodier than Saw and Hellsing combined!
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011
Guess you're REAL happy that the guy won, right?
MadnessAbe Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yes I am!


.....I should stop now. :|
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011
Nah, I thought the match was awesome.

(one of Pancho Villa's men gets shot through the eye)

Dude, a Lakota just shot that guy through the freakin' EYE. I mean, I'm not a doctor or anything, but...HOLY CRAP, MAN.

I'm watchin' the fight again soon!
(1 Reply)
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Another fight, another awesome comment from yours truly!

As a fellow fan of the show, what's your favorite season 3 episode so far? I personally like a tie between US Rangers Vs NK Special Operations Forces and Teddy Roosevalt vs Lawerence of Arabia.
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
Well, I have a feeling I'm gonna like Crazy Horse vs. Poncho Villa. I also liked US Rangers vs. NKSOF, Saddam Hussein vs. Pol Pot, and Joan of Arc vs. William the Conqueror.

Also, what do you think of THIS for a joke match: Twitards vs. Narutards (the obsessors over the crap-tastic Twilight saga vs. the obsessors of Naruto).
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
That'll be hilarious alright, I too have some joke matches coming up such as Ed (Ed, Edd, and Eddy) vs Billy (Billy and Mandy. Battle between two nitwits.
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011
Alright, I probably won't check that out. I'm working on the weapons both groups would have. I have half of the Narutards weapons.

Short-range: Katana
Mid-Range: Shuriken
PLCTheCd Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I also have a more "serious" fight involving Trekkies and Star Wars nerds.

Believe it or not, I still have standards despite my notorious over-the-top matches. Someone actually requested me a battle between My Little Pony: FiM and Care Bears! I of course, denied.
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2011
Well, you have to say 'No' at some point. I'd have done the same thing.
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