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Chapter 3: Colonel Hassleberry

The morning in the jungle was calm, peaceful, and could make anyone relaxed...until the ground started vibrating with the sound of several large creatures marching.

Sora was roused and looked over. He saw several T-Rexes marching through and said, "A parade..."

"Oh no!" Silver groaned, covering his ears, "That dang-busted dawn patrol..."

Silver didn't notice as Sora sild down the tree.

T-Rexes: Hup two three four
Keep it up two three four
Hup two three four
Keep it up two three four

The lead Tyrannosaur, who was large, brown, and had a bandana on his head, Tyranno Hassleberry (Yu-Gi-Oh GX), then shouted, "Company sound off!"

T-Rexes: Ho, the aim of our patrol
Is a question rather droll
For to march and drill
Over field and hill

Hassleberry: Is a military goal!

T-Rexes: Is a military goal!

Sora walked in just in time to see a small, dark-brown T-Rex named Konohamaru (Naruto) walk past.

T-Rexes: Hup two three four
Dress it up two three four
Hup two three four
Dress it up two three four

Silver woke up and realized Sora wasn't there.

"Sora?" he asked before calling, "SORA?"

T-Rexes: By the ranks or single file
Over every jungle mile
Oh we stamp and crush
Through the underbrush

Konohamaru: In a military style!

T-Rexes: In a military style!
Hup two three four
Keep it up two three four

Sora walked up to Konohamaru.

"What're you doing?" Sora asked.

"Shhh!" Konohamaru shushed before replying, "Drilling."

"Can I join?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, just do what I do." Konohamaru replied, "But don't talk in ranks. Hassleberry says it's against regulations."

Sora continued marching. Feeling relaxed, he closed his eyes.

"TO THE REAR, MARCH!" Hassleberry shouted. Sora immediately found himself being pushed forward by Konohamaru's march.

"The OTHER way! Turn around!" Konohamaru said. Sora immediately corrected himself.

"To the rear, ho!" Hassleberry shouted. Sora kept walking, not paying attention. Sora noticed this and turned around to run back as Hassleberry shouted, "To the rear, HALT!"

Sora ran, headlong, into Konohamaru.

"That means stop." Konohamaru stated.

"I gathered that." Sora said as he picked himself up.

"Attention! LEFT FACE!" Hassleberry shouted.

The T-Rexes shifted their positions. A blue one named Blaire (Yu-Gi-Oh GX) and a red one named Hellboy (Hellboy) looked exhausted and ticked off.

"It's been nothing but marching ALL morning." Blaire groaned, "My feet are killing me!"

"I'll be asking for a transfer to another group." Hellboy murmured.

"SILENCE IN THE RANKS!" Hassleberry ordered. He walked behind them and found that the pack was all slouching, "Dress up that line!" Everyone except Blaire straightened up. Hassleberry slapped her on the butt with his tail. She yelped and straightened up, "That's better." The T-Rex then walked in front of the pack, "TEETH INSPECTION!"

All the T-Rexes opened their mouths. Sora kept his shut.

"Open your mouth." Konohamaru said, quickly.

Sora opened his and asked, "Like this?"

Konohamaru simply nodded.

Hassleberry walked over and inspected Hellboy's mouth. He clicked his tongue.

"A cavity." Hassleberry stated, "Hellboy, remember that, in battle, a tooth can save your life. Take GOOD care of 'em!"

"Yes, sir." Hellboy said.

Hassleberry looked over to a large, tough-looking one.

"Doin' good." Hassleberry said.

He looked over all of the T-Rexes, giving small criticisms.

"And, as for you..." Hassleberry then noticed that he was talking to someone far smaller. He looked down at Konohamaru and chuckled, warmly, "You might wanna keep for feet together, private."

"Yes, Hassle..." Konohamaru straightened up and corrected himself, "SIR."

Hassleberry then looked over to Sora, "Well, looks like we've got a new recruit. Uh...what happened to your tail?"

Hassleberry turned Sora around to examine his butt.

"HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!" Sora shouted.


Hassleberry dropped Sora, who wheeled over and growled, "It's not YOUR jungle!"

"Hold it! Hold it!" Silver shouted as he flew over, via telekinesis, "I can explain, Hassleberry!"

"TYRANNO Hassleberry." Hassleberry stated.

"Yeah, right, Tyranno." Silver said, "Look, he didn't mean any harm. He just got curious. I'm taking him back to the Man Village."

"Good thing, too." Hassleberry said, "Can't have him disturbing the peace. You'll take 'im straight to it?"

"You have the word of Silver." Silver replied.

"Better be true to it." Hassleberry said, "A T-Rex NEVER forgets!" Hassleberry then shouted to his troops, "COMPANY, MARCH!"

A few seconds into the march, Blaire said, "Hassleberry, aren't you forgetting something?"

"Don't think so and a T-Rex NEVER forgets!" Hassleberry stated.

"Well, you forgot KONOHAMARU for starters." Blaire snapped.

"KONOHAMARU! Sorry!" Hassleberry apologized, "COMAPNY, ABOUT FACE!"

The T-Rexes changed direction and began marching towards Konohamaru, who was talking to Sora.

"When I grow up, I'm gonna be a colonel, just like Has..."

Hassleberry grabbed Konohamaru and began shaking him as he shouted, "IF I TOLD YA ONCE, I TOLD YA A MILLION TIMES..."

"HASSLEBERRY, LOOK OUT!" Konohamaru shouted.

Too late. The T-Rexes collided with each other, causing a major-league crash. Konohamaru walked up to Hassleberry, who was looking a bit ticked off.

"Uh...Hassleberry?" Konohamaru asked, "You forgot to say 'halt'."

Sora was on the ground laughing, "And he says a T-Rex never forgets!"

Sora kept up his laughing until he saw that Silver wasn't.

"That's not very funny." Silver said before ordering, "Now, let's get outta here before something ELSE happens!"

The two then took off into the jungle.
Sorry for not updating! I've been lazy...unfortunate habit of mine.
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BTW, have you checked out Ch.1 of Beauty and the Charizard?
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
Not yet, Timon (in reference to your previous post).
Excellent chapter. This scene always made me laugh. Particularly this bit:

(Elephant smiles with goofy grin.)

Wipe off that silly grin, soldier. This is the army!

(Elephant frowns sadly)

Update soon!
Tohokari-Steel Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2009
Sorry I couldn't put that in, Xem.
Eh, Hakuna Mattata.
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November 28, 2009
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