Search for the Plot pt. 22

Chapter 22...

A blinding light was what met the members of Planet Insania. They were out of their costumes and back into their original clothing. They looked all over the place where they wound up, confused.

“Where are we?” Dimentio asked.

“We're back on Earth.” Ray answered, remembering the exact spot, “This is where Meyer fought Chaos...where all this insanity began.”

“Is there any sign of Xem?” Fixer asked, looking around.

“No...” Kitty replied, sounding sad.

“I guess he didn't make it.” E350 added, somberly. He and Dimentio looked at their feet in mourning. Dimentio was about to hit something, or someone, out of grief, possibly Cooly. However, it was cut short by the sound of Christmas bells.

“What the heck?” Abe asked as a helicopter flew over and a certain secret agent holiday figure jumped out and landed in front of them.

“Greetings.” He said.

“SANTA BOND!” Cooly exclaimed.

“What're you doing here?” Cartooniac asked.

“I was just in my Head Workshop in North London, when I heard a knock at my door.” Santa Bond explained, “Then I found someone on my doorstep that said 'To Santa Bond, From Lunatic'. I believe you also know him...”

Santa Bond stepped aside and out walked Xem, clad in a pure white robe and having a confused look on his face.

“XEM!” Dimentio, E350, and Steel exclaimed, running over to their friend and gathering around him.

“Santa Bond tells me that you risked your lives for mine.” Xem said in a blank tone, “That seems...illogical.”

“C'mon, buddy, what we deal with has NOTHING to do with logic!” Steel grinned.

“That and the needs of the plot outweighs the needs of the logic.” E350 added, “Hey, I'm getting better at this!”

“Don't you remember?” Dimentio asked Xem.

“Remember...remember...” Xem said before pointing at Dimentio, “Your name...is Joshua, right?”

Dimentio looked at Xem in shock...the name sounded so familiar...nah. Xem must still be in shock.

“Close enough.” Santa Bond shrugged.

The three led Xem back to the group, where he was met with cheers, hugs, and pats on the back from his teammates. However, one question lingered and it was Fixer who brought it up.

“But, Santa Bond, I don't understand.” He said, “How did we get here in the first place?”

“I believe WE have the answer to that!”

Out from behind Santa Bond came Doopliss and a Goomba with swirly, Insano goggles (funny how those keep popping up in the story, isn't it?). This was his henchman/partner, GoomSano.

“Who's this guy again?” Steel asked. Everyone sighed at his inability to remember Doopliss.

“Doopliss?” Bindi asked, “I thought we'd never see you again!”

“I HOPED we'd never see you again.” Systema stated.

“Ah well, ya can't keep an evil overlord down!” Doopliss laughed.

“But...how's this possible?” K-chan asked, “I thought the plot hole destroyed everything.”

“No, it merely SWALLOWED everything!” GoomSano corrected.

“But, I don't understand.” Dez said.

“The Plot Hole shot out chaos because we lived in a universe that made perfect sense!” GoomSano explained, “But now, the Hole IS the universe, so now, there IS no chaos!”

“But that doesn't make any sense.” K-chan said.

“Nothing does!” GoomSano exclaimed, “Isn't it wonderful? Crazy is the new NORMAL!”

“But won't there be inconsistencies?” Dez asked.

“Oh, well there will ALWAYS be inconsistencies.” GoomSano replied, “Little problems and mistakes here and there, but it's the little surprises that make life worth living! Celebrate them! Without them, life would be boring!”

“But I don't want to live in a giant mistake.” Abe said.

“Well, tough crap, kid.” Doopliss deadpanned, “Nothing's perfect. But YOUR story has just begun! Make it a good one, mistakes and all!”

“So, that's it?” Dimentio asked deadpan, “You two came all this way just to deliver that huge plot dump?”

“Well, that and THIS.” Doopliss said. An army of Mets suddenly appeared as Doopliss shouted, “GIVE ME BACK MY STUFF!”

“Uh...” Rook said, looking up. The Hummingbird 1000 flew off into the sunset, “I don't think that's gonna happen...”

“METS! FOLLOW THAT HOUSE!” Doopliss ordered, flying off while his army marched off and GoomSano waddled behind them.

“Well, guess that's that.” Abe said with a shrug.

Xem pointed to Abe and said, “Andrew...” Abe looked at Xem blankly.

“Well, what do we do now?” Systema asked.

“Well...” came a voice. The group looked behind them to see a white, anthropomorphic hedgehog with a blue bathrobe and a bubble pipe. It was Ask TLSoulDude, “My place is not too far from here. You know what that means?”

“Great, low-quality, fanfiction Coke party!” Ray and Abe exclaimed together before giving each other high-fives.

—

Inside TLSoulDude's house, rock music was heard in the background. Cooly whooped as he sprayed cheese-whiz into his mouth and sprayed root beer all over the place. Fixer and Gokiburi Prince were playing a video game as Systema and Strait arm-wrestled each other (currently tied). K-chan and E350 were watching Hetalia: Axis Powers, E350 giving a running commentary on the historical inaccuracies/more insensitive jokes and K-chan was ignoring him. Steel walked over to Dimentio, currently on his phone.

"One sec Dimentia," Dimentio looked at Steel, "Yeah?"

“So, E350 says you fought the Plot Hole back for a while.” Steel said.

“Yeah, I did.” Dimentio replied, sounding proud and smiling.

“Congrats Annie, you just gained some manly points.” Steel complimented.

“Then why-” Dimentio tried asking.

“Still not enough for me to call you by your real name, Debbie.” Steel interrupted, but still wrapped an arm over Dimentio’s shoulders, “But next Coke’s on me.”

“One, I thought they were free and two, I don't drink soda!” Dimentio insinuated as Steel dragged him away.

“Alright, DJ.” Kitty said to DJ, “I'll try and become a little closer with Marcus.”

“I wish ya good luck...I HOPE you have good luck.” DJ replied, “Because then, you won't be bugging me anymore.”

“Seriously, what kinda drugs does it take to enjoy this?!” E350 half-shouted at the screen.

“Fine, we'll watch ANOTHER anime. How about Love Hina?” K-chan asked, irritated. She then looked over at E350, a wide smile on her face and her hair blonde once more as she exclaimed, “But Kaolla does not need to see Kaolla!”

E350 gave her an odd look before saying, “You should definitely get that looked at...”

“Okay,” Ray said, carrying another 'Lifetime of Training in a Serringe' and two bottles of Coke as he sat down next to Abe, “I say, we start off with a Cowboy Bebop/Kingdom Hearts crossover. Those are two genres we both know VERY well...”

“How about a lemon every other chapter?” Abe asked.

“THAT'S my student.” Ray grinned, then gave himself another dose. “OOH! That’s a good MacGuffin!”

“You have a problem, Ray...” Abe pointed out.

Dimentio slowly removed himself from the party as he saw something. He looked over with a smile as he saw Lunatic and Mechamentio appear. Lunatic was a blue ghost, but Mecha appeared in the "flesh" and by "flesh", he was actually there. Mecha and Dimentio grinned.

"Fist bump?" Mecha asked.

"Thought you'd never ask!" Dimentio said, raising his fist to connect with Mecha's.

The two were suddenly joined by Hayden Christensen of the same coloration as Lunatic.

“What're YOU doing here?” Lunatic asked.

“I was edited in for the Platinum Edition.” Haden replied.

“Please leave.” Mechamentio stated.

“C'mon, my mother was killed by Tusken Raiders!” Haden pleaded.

“GO.” both of them ordered.

Haden Christensen sulked off before fading away. Lunatic and Mechamentio shrugged at each other before returning to their observation.

“Good-bye.” Dimentio simply said before E350 patted him on the shoulder. The two then rejoined the festivities as Lunatic vanished and Mecha began walking back home, which was odd since they were in Indiana and the Maskwitness House was in California, leaving the PI members to continue their celebration.

—

Out in space, the Plot Hole sat on the edge of the universe. It would protect all inhabitants from future problems that would occur and make sure that the mistakes it made would not be repeated. Within its center remained the consciousness of Lunatic the 121st, a.k.a. the Insane Critic. He observed this entire plane of existence and tried to think of something to say. All he came up with was the phrase that started it all...

“Hello, I'm the Insane Critic. I read it so you didn't have to.” He said to himself.

The End

Cast:
Lunatic: James Arnold Taylor
Tohokari-Steel/Karitoho Iron/Tohokari-Sano: Quinton Flynn
Sarge Ray: Steve Blum
Dezblade: Nolan North
E350: Greg Ellis
Aaron1248: Yuri Lowenthal
Dimentio713: Antony del Rio
Madness Abe: Eric Vale
Gokiburi Prince: Ogie Banks
Lt. Strait: Chris Edgerly
Sgt. Systema: Rick D. Wasserman
Binditheskunk: Janice Kawaye
Box-Office Bomb Fixer: Curtis Arnott
Wildrook/RookSano: Frank Frankson
KitsuneAlchemist: Caitlin Glass
Cartooniac: Tara Strong
Cooly McAwesome: Wayne Grayson
Doopliss: Jerry Jewell
Goomsano: Hank Azaria
Xemnas1992: Brendan Fraser
Shadow-DJ: Corbin Bleu
Kitten Hachi-Chan: Michelle Ruff
The Moderator: Steve Blum
The Face: Derek Stephen Prince
Stephanie Meyer: Kate Higgins
Airnaruto: Kevin Conroy
CryptoNoah: Bryce Papenbrook
Jarredspekter: Sean Schemmel
AskTLSoulDude: Eric Vale
BladeLordQwest: Dave Wittenberg
VGAFanatic: Troy Baker
Deadpool: Nolan North
Rose: Kari Wahlgren
Dimsano: Antony del Rio
Mechamentio713: Roger Craig Smith
William A. Butthurt: Ben Stein
Squeaky-voiced assistant: Dan Castellaneta
Santa Bond: Pierce Brosnan
Dimentia713: Kari Wahlgren
Mom: Jodi Benson
Steve the Hollow: Paul St. Peter

Texas...

Out of the twisted, burning wreckage of the house hit by the Death Cube's blast, Aaron1248 crawled out, blackened and dirtied. How did he survive? Plot hole.

“Oh man.” He said, looking at his house, “My parents are gonna kill me...”

“I DIDN'T EVEN GET A LINE!” shouted Steve the Hollow, appearing from nowhere and causing Aaron to jump in surprise.