OTD: Madoka Eternal

"Welp. Here we are.” Amily said as she approached a large orb the size of a football stadium, made entirely out of concentrated darkness. By her side was the white Ranger, spear hefted over his shoulder. She looked at the others, who were walking slightly behind the two of them. “You guys stay out here and wait for his signal. When he’s gotten Steel out, then we attack.”

“Affirmative!” E350 exclaimed, saluting with his Tommy Gun.

“Aaaaand as for you,” Amily spinned around to face the Ranger, “No one’s been this thing before and with the stats the Insanos happily gave us, your armor’s the only thing capable of penetrating it. Knowing what it is, though, well, it's more like who it is that is. Well, regardless, I think it’s safe to say that it will try and trick you. No matter what happens, just keep walking. Try thinking of anything else, no matter what it shows you."

“Trust me,” the Ranger said, walking into the darkness, which opened up and absorbed him, “I can.”

Amily stated and closed her eyes, sending out a small prayer, "Be safe..."

Show me the side streets in your life
Train yards like bone yards, sharpened knives
Sidewalks are unassuming fields
Concrete and cracks won't cut you deals
Won't cut you deals
Won't cut you
Lost teeth like white jewels of some kind
Petty theft for penny crimes
For penny crimes
For penny crimes
And we yell
ahh ahhh ahh ahh like a good ol' fashion nightmare
ahh ahh ahh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahh
ahh ahhh ahh ahh like a good ol' fashion nightmare
ahh ahh ahh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahh
Theme Song: Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare by Matt & Kim
Written by Tohokari-Steel
Edited by Agimat-Warrior713

“Well, we’re back to Madoka.” Steel said, “Anything you missed? Go back to the previous review and look into it.”

“This movie basically picks up where the series left off: Sayaka’s gone entirely down the crapper and given into despair, becoming a Witch.” Dimentio said, “And that’s how Witches were made! What a rip, all I got was ‘when a mommy witch and a daddy witch love each other VERY much’...”

“THANK YOU, Dimentio.” Steel cut across, “Anyway, Sayaka’s soul has basically turned into some demented version of what I made in kindergarten. Before Kyoko can get totalled by the four-year-old’s scribble, though, Homura comes in to pull her fat out of the fire...and then opening sequence.” Steel continued, “They explain the situation to Madoka and she’s, of course, devastated.”

Homura: That’s the final secret of the Soul Gems. (holds her out) When our gems become too tainted and become completely black, we transform into Grief Seeds then are reborn as Witches. THIS is the destiny that no Magical Girl can escape.

“If only Sailor Moon was here to help us!” Steel shouted in mock despair.

"Oh please! What's Sailor Moon going to do?" Dimentio713 asked with a smile on his face.

Steel's response was to scoot a bit from him.

Madoka is sitting on her bed. Suddenly, something glows as the silhouette of Kyubey appears.

(Hellhound: Zuuuuul...)

“There’s you saying Kyubey’s some kinda demon again. What’s up with that?” Dimentio asked.

“I dunno, just let it come as it does.” Steel grumbled.

“He comes in and decides to explain the situation.” Dimentio continued, "...With...science. Look, I got a C in Chemistry, I'm not sure if I'm qualified."

Kyubey: We don’t do what we do because we hate the human race. We do this to prolong the life of the universe. Madoka, do you know what the word “entropy” means? Here’s an example: the energy given off by a bonfire does not equal the energy to grow the wood that fuels it. When energy changes form, some of it gets lost. We found that the energy given off by the universe is decreasing, so we began searching for a form of energy that wasn’t limited by the laws of thermodynamics. And then we found the energy...given off by Magical Girls.
Madoka: ...What are you, really?

(K: I’m just a figment of your own imagination. *flashes neuralizer*)

“Actually, the entire plan is to turn the emotions of sentient life forms (in this case, human girls) into energy.” Dimentio continued, “When a Magical Girl becomes a Witch, a large amount of energy is released. Kyubey also reiterates that he didn’t trick anyone, but rather it was the girls own misunderstanding.”

“For some reason, I’m skeptical.” Steel said.

“It haunts my dreams...” Steel whimpered.

Kyubey: So, if you ever feel like dying for the sake of the universe, call me!

“That line said in that voice is HILARIOUS.” Steel commented.

"I agree. I mean, it's kinda a highlight for me too. It's made even more hilarious by the bloopers.

(Madoka: I'm so unfriending that THIS IS THE MONADO'S POWER!er.)

“Later, Madoka meets up with Kyoko to discuss if they can save Sayaka’s Soul Gem, considering it hasn’t been a Witch long. Kyoko thinks that, since Madoka happens to be Sayaka’s best friend, that she can get through to her.” Dimentio continued, “On their way to try and find it, Kyoko brings up the fact that a powerful witch named Walpurgisnacht is coming. They enter into the new Witch’s labyrinth and find...”

A hall of images kept in aquariums with musical notes across them.

“Oh goodie, I’ve forgotten the trippiness.” Steel commented.

"Just remember it's Sayaka and it'll be all better~"

"It's not helping Dimentio."

The doors suddenly slam shut.
Kyoko: She knows we’re here! She’s coming!
The two are suddenly pulled into some massive, orchestral hall where...THIS is conducting.

(Sir Jack Dapper: What the fu-)

“Dimentio...did I inhale any of that gas again?” Steel asked.

“Nope, that’s the movie.” Dimentio said.

“Huh...so you ALSO see Superman, Harry Potter, and Pinkie Pie riding the Mystery Machine through space?”

“...No. Wish I DID, though. Though, Sayaka still looks kinda erm…”

“For the love of GOD, do NOT end that sentence with 'cute'."

“Okay.”

“The Witch is (of course) unresponsive to their reasoning as it attacks with wheels-” Dimentio looked at Steel, who just had a look of complete confusion on his face, “Get over it. Anyway, Homura shows up and Kyoko sacrifices herself to destroy the Witch, having realized that this whole thing was pointless. Still a better sendoff than Mami’s. At least we got to KNOW Kyoko.”

"Again, I blame the fact that the first movie speeds through the show and this movie is like 4 episodes."

“After some moments of surrealism, we then cut to...”

Madoka, Sayaka, and Hitomi running to school.

“Dimentio, did you sit on the remote again?” Steel asked.

“C’mon, I wouldn’t make that mistake a THIRD time.” Dimentio said, “Look, it’s part of the narrative. It’s a flashback...kinda. We see that they have a new classmate--Homura Akemi.”

Homura has large glasses, braided hair, and seems rather fidgety.

“Yep, NOT the remote.” Steel said, “And it turns out that Homura’s been in bed for half a year due to heart problems. Due to her time like that, she’s kinda a klutz at this point. At that point, a Witch begins influencing her to commit suicide...while taking her into Picasso’s Tim Burton land. Before anything can happen, though, she’s saved by Mami and Madoka. And right around HERE is where we see the outfit Madoka has in the intro...and the cover art. And yet, somehow, it’s STILL more honest about its use than Return of Slade-BETRAYAL! Why’d I just do that?”

"I'm...not sure myself. Mostly because it's by the Urobutcher. You KNOW he drinks our tears...and possibly feeds them to Saya...along our other body parts." Dimentio said.

“We then cut to Walpurgisnacht as it arrives...the Witch, not the European holiday.” Dimentio continued, “Mami’s already dead by this point-”

(ZeFrank: Bummer.)

“And then Madoka dies destroying the Witch. Homura wishes that she could meet Madoka all over again and protect her this time. She winds up on her first day of school and seems more outgoing than her first time. Her first attempt at Magical Girling goes about as well as you’d expect.”

Homura runs at a barrel, swinging a golf club in a rather clumsy fashion.

“Hehe, doofus.” Steel chuckled.

“But things can be rather easy to get the hang of when you can stop time.” Dimentio continued, “She also spends this time learning how to make bombs. Okay, how powerful could things like those-”

Homura tosses bomb into a witch, resulting in a huge explosion.

“HOLY FREAKING CRAP!” Steel yelled.

"...Evidently a lot."

“In THIS timeline, though, Madoka doesn’t die fighting Walpurgisnacht...but rather gives into despair and becomes a Witch. With that, we get the reason behind Homura’s rather cynical outlook--rewinding time to her first day at school, seeing Madoka die over and over.” Dimentio said.

“And...not gonna lie, that’s a pretty good and well-executed idea.” Steel added, “And then the anime intro...because why not?”

"Yeah, the sudden appearance of the opening kinda...shocked me. Like REALLY surprised me. I mean, imagine if you were watching it on theaters...very odd." Dimentio713 admitted.

“Back in present time, Kyubey talks to Homura and points out that reliving all these timelines is the reason why Madoka has so much potential as a Magical Girl.” Dimentio continued, “We then cut to Sayaka’s funeral, after which Madoka’s feeling lost, knowing both she and Kyoko are dead. Kyubey then comes in with some words of comfort.”

Kyubey: Do you feel guilt or remorse for the livestock you consume? Have you ever thought about how those animals become the food you eat? (shows Madoka some brief flashes of slaughterhouses, making her scream) Your reaction isn’t very rational. If you don’t like the things you saw just now, I’m afraid you’re missing the big picture.

(Frasier: If this is a pep-talk, could we please skip to the PEPPY PART?)

“And it turns out that Incubators have been interfering with human history since prehistoric times.” Steel said, “If it involves Megatron being frozen in the arctic with all our modern tech made by reverse-engineering him, I’m leaving.”

“Actually, it was the Magical Girls throughout history who helped develop the modern world.” Dimentio continued, “However, because wishes are an anomaly in the physical universe, they have a tendency to backfire, hence why everyone’s wishes go to crap. Madoka later goes to Homura, who makes it clear that she’ll fight it alone.”

“Well, the day comes and Homura is ready to face down the Walpurgisnacht. Despite her best efforts, it doesn’t do anything.” Steel continued, “Since people will think Walpurgisnacht (who was established to be so big that it doesn’t need a Labyrinth) will be a storm, the residents are put in a disaster shelter. Madoka winds up there but runs off after a heart-to-heart with her mother.”

“Madoka arrives just before Homura can give into despair and become a witch, deciding to make a contract with Kyubey, despite everything.” Dimentio said.

Homura: Madoka...don’t do it.
Madoka: But it’s okay, ‘cuz I figured out my wish. I know what I want now, more than anything else and I’m ready to trade my life for it, with no regrets.

“A burger with a side of fries and a large milkshake.” Steel inserted.

Kyubey: Madoka Kaname, what is the wish that you would trade your soul for?
Madoka: I wish I had the power to erase ALL Witches...before they’re even born. EVERY witch. Past, present, and future!

“With this, Madoka winds up unravelling the fabric of the universe only to recreate it as its God.” Dimentio said.

“Annnnnnd right around here, we enter into another one of Gen Urobuchi’s habits with writing--a narrative that seemed coherent at first then goes right off of the rails in the end and right into sheer, unrepentant ‘what the crap’ery.”

"Well, we got an Eldritch Abominations..."

"Insanity."

"Deconstruction of heroism."

"Lesbians..."

"So we kinda got bingo already."

"Dimentio, those pictures are from the Urobutcher's other works."

"...Yeah, I know."

“She finds herself with Mami and Kyoko, who all talk about her decision.” Dimentio continued, “She then shoots down all the other witches in the past, present, and future before destroying Walpurgisnacht. Homura then finds herself on a simple, white plain.”

Homura: What is this place?
Kyubey: The universe is in the middle of reorganizing itself, based on Madoka’s new laws of reality.

“Homura’s currently there because of her time magic making her exempt from these rules. Cause reasons,” Dimentio continued, “They witness Madoka’s end when her Soul Gem (which is massive) turns into a Witch...which Madoka promptly shoots down because Screw the Rules, I’m God.”

Madoka: I wished for the power to destroy ALL witches. If that’s what I wished for, then I have nothing to worry about. Not NOW, not EVER!
Madoka fires arrow at her own Witch, destroying it and consuming everything with light.

(Star child appears next to Earth.)

Kyubey: Madoka, because of your wish, your life has no beginning or end anymore. The proof of your life on Earth is gone. The memories people had of you don’t exist. You’ve crossed over onto a higher plane. Your physical body is no more. You are now a concept. No one will ever sense your presence again. You’ll never be able to interact with anyone. You are no longer part of this universe.

“Homura raises objection to this, since it’d mean she’d lose her friend forever.” Steel continued, “But Madoka assures her that this is what she wants and she can be everywhere at once now."

Dimentio713 quipped in, "So she can watch Homura in the shower.

"Uh... Anyways, she gives Homura her ribbons in farewell before she’s returned home.”

“Also, some closure for Sayaka Miki after the universe is fixed.” Dimentio said. Steel sniffed, “Dude...are you crying?”

“NO!” Steel shouted, “I’ve just got...ALLERGIES! YEAH! ALLERGIES! SO SHUT UP!”

Dimentio simply began patting Steel’s back.

“Also, their conversation takes place in a concert hall, where Kyosuke plays Ave Maria.”

(Film Brain: SYMBOLISM!!!)

“Thank you.” Dimentio said.

“In the remade world, rules are different. Instead of Witches, the Magical Girls now fight Wraiths and Homura’s the only one who remembers Madoka.” Steel continued, “And our movie ends with Homura going in to fight the Wraiths.”

Homura: This world isn’t worth saving. Tragedy and sadness will never truly disappear. But even so, it’s the place she once tried to protect. I remember that. And I will never ever forget it. That is why I keep fighting.

“This movie...I pretty much feel the same way. I like the story, but I always end up remembering that it’s the SAME story and then wonder what the point of it all is.” Steel said, “I like it, but I STILL end up at the same conclusion. It’s a freakin’ headache, through and through!”

"It's kinda the same way for me too...I mean, the movie looks super pretty. And whatnot...but here's my problem... It's still the same. Still a good show, but it's like I'm going through the same thing as Homura. Going through the same thing over and over again. I would have liked extra scenes or something...different. Madoka as an anime works. But as a recap? ...Well, not exactly. But it's a recap movie. But still. Bring something NEW."

“I’m Tohokari-Steel, this was Outta the DVD and-”

SLASH!

A blade made of pure light pierced the air right next to Steel and tore right through it. It pulled back, showing a Power Ranger, clad in white armor.

“WHAT THE HECK?!” Steel yelled.

“Hello, idiot.” Stated the Ranger.

“Who’re you and what just happened?” Steel asked. In response, the ranger took his helmet and pulled it off. Steel’s eyes widened in shock as he saw who it was.

A near-perfect copy of himself, only with crimson eyes instead of blue. It was his clone from another reality, Karitoho-Iron. He and Steel had fought on multiple occasions due to Iron’s genetic structure being created with the unending desire to end Steel forever.

“Me.” He stated, a smirk forming on his face, “Trust me, I WANTED to leave you for dead here, so I could finally be at peace. But, considering Darkness’ involvement, I’d sooner save you than let HIM win.”

“Wait, who?” Steel asked.

“THAT rat.” Iron said, lunging at Dimentio, spinning his spear before bringing it up only to see Steel block it with his Kukri knife.

“What’re you doing?” Steel growled, straining with the strike, “You’ve only ever gone for me, hurting others only if they were in your way!”

“Because the brat is little more than a puppet in a simulation meant to keep you under control.” Iron growled, deflecting Steel’s blade and sending him skidding.

“He’s right, Steel.” Dimentio said, sounding saddened, “I’m just part of an interface meant to keep you pacified while Darkness713, the Despair Entity, consumes the planet, unabated. Why? Why didn’t you just wake up? You had the power to do so all along. Do you know...how much I despise myself?” at that point, Dimentio began weeping, “ I hurt, killed, and destroyed lives! By choice! I could have stopped to think, but it's nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I despise myself so much...and this...this is my only chance at redemption! And the worst part is...is...”

Everything began flickering as a spike of darkness pierced Dimentio’s chest. He looked down at it, as if surprised, before vanishing. The darkness gathered and formed into Darkness713.

“Don’t fret. You won’t even end up inside of me, you fake.” He said.

Steel saw everything--the dark void, his team floating around him. At that point, he felt like his blood was on fire. He wanted nothing more than to tear Darkness limb from limb.

“Here.” Iron said, handing Steel a pouch. His interdimensional weapons pocket. Iron put his helmet back on before charging, thrusting his spear out only for Darkness to dodge and evade.

Steel dug through his weapons pouch and pulled out his Black Dino Gem, his lugar, and his helmet. He jammed the helmet onto his head, slapped the gem around his wrist and fired the pistol at the black stone. Immediately, all three shattered, reforming into his Waffen Sparta Ranger form. He sprung forward, firing on Darkness before blasting a rocket at him. Darkness saw this coming with his smirk widening. He shoved Iron into the way before flying off.

“YOU IDIOT!” Iron yelled as the bullets pelted him and the missiles exploded, sending him tumbling. Steel didn’t even look over as he ran past him. Iron knew what was going through the planet’s guardian at this very moment:

Pure hatred.

Steel blocked a strike from the shadows as he began firing. Darkness casually flicked the bullets away just as Steel shoved the barrel of his gun arm into his face. A missile shot from it, exploding right in his face. Steel then lunged into the air, raising the Brachio Staff as a globe of the planet made of orange energy appeared around it.

“EUROPA STRIKE!” he roared, bringing it down.

The second his weapon made contact, the energy exploded out, consuming the immediate area.

“OH THE PAIN!” Darkness wailed, “THE PAIN OF IT ALL!” he then snickered, “Actually, it kinda tickles.”

He opened his mouth wide and, to the shock of all present, consumed the energy of an attack that destroyed the body of Galaxica. He rolled it around in his mouth before promptly spitting it back at Steel. The full force of his destructive attack hit Steel in the chest and sent him flying, his armor and helmet shattered before he crashed in a heap. Steel looked up at Darkness, still smoking from his attack and his armor in tatters.

“I’ll kill you...” he snarled.

“Oh, what’re you so mad about?” Darkness asked, innocently, as he walked over, “All I did was help you. Wasn’t that all you wanted? To be in a world where you never failed? Why, you should really be THANKING me for that. Like I helped Dimentio713. Oh how much he needed my help. After all, he wanted to skewer your heart like his blade was one big barbeque stick! And your heart was the meat he so desperately wanted! And I helped him in the best way. He finally is living the high life! He finally has a future!”

Steel’s teeth ground together as his eyes went wide in pure fury. He opened his mouth and let out a scream of pure rage.

Outside the slowly growing orb, a streak of crimson light flew over the heads of the freedom fighters.

“I thought that was just a one time joke.” Doopliss said, worried.

The red streak pierced through the darkness and kept flying until it fitted itself onto Steel’s armored finger.

You have great rage in your heart, Tohokari-Steel of Earth. Welcome to the Red Lantern Corps.

Crimson light burst across the area as the fragments of Steel’s destroyed armor began reforming and fitting themselves. He stood up as a helmet began reforming around him.

“Y’know, I always thought of you as some little puppy--having fun and, as such, I had fun watching.” Steel said in an eerily calm voice as wicked-looking black and red armor formed around him, the white symbol of the Red Lanterns on his chest, “Now, it looks like the little puppy has become rabid. And rabid dogs get PUT DOWN. But there’s some good news to this--you don’t have to wonder where your god is. ‘Cuz he’s right here.” A helmet formed around Steel’s head, shaped like a snarling bear with curved horns, “He’s called the Berserker Ranger...and he’s all out of mercy.”

The Berserker Ranger let out a roar before charging at Darkness, throwing out his fist. Darkness summoned shadows to protect himself only to see them blown to pieces by a literally explosive punch from this new form. Steel quickly closed the distance, forming a column of red energy, which he slammed right into Darkness’ face. He formed two blades around his wrists before flying right at Darkness, slashing at him, wildly. The panel just under his visor opened up and Steel promptly spewed the iconic napalm blood of Red Lanterns onto Darkness. He then threw a punch into Darkness’ face, sending him flying with the explosive force.

Darkness crumpled in a heap, but stood up, laughing, “Oh, this is rich! He thinks that fury, an emotion linked to despair, can defeat MOI? You really are a fool, Steel, you know that? Righteous fury might hurt me for a little while, but there’s one problem--it fizzles out fast.”

Steel formed a crimson cylinder, which he sent right at Darkness, who quickly dispelled it with a burst of darkness. The Berserker Ranger roared before charging at Darkness, who grabbed him and slammed him into the ground. He began snickering as Steel thrashed around, trying to get free.

“Y'know, it's funny. Iron wanted to kill you. RookSano wanted to kill you. Galaxica, Tony, Mr. Dark all wanted to kill you. But you always came out on top. Me? I let you live that one time. This time, though? I WILL kill you. And I don't need months of super complicated planning, transporting you to some weird jungle place, possessing you, or even marooning you in the Digital World. All I need to do is take a ring." He grabbed the Red Lantern ring and swiftly pulled it off Steel’s armored finger. His crimson armor vanished, leaving him in the shattered remains of his Waffen Sparta armor. Steel’s breathing became ragged at that point, "A Red Lantern Ring replaces its user's heart after it becomes attached to them. And I’ve got your body AND a part of myself in you, so no chance of that annoying space ferret bringing you back. And, with that..." with a burst of darkness, the ring shattered, "Bon voyage."

The next thing Steel knew, he was floating through the empty, white void of limbo. His look was a far cry from when he first arrived. Now, it was that of someone...broken. Lost in the dark. He had come into this with the best intentions, but it turns out Darkness was playing him all along. Had been for months. His desire to help and protect his friends had been perverted into a means to conquer the world. Something he made because he was tired of those close to him being killed when he could have stopped it.

At that point, Steel burst into tears as he began wailing, clutching his head before hunching over.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I...I was an idiot!” he wept, Dimentio firmly in mind, “I should’ve...been that friend.”

Looking from afar, however, was a familiar, bespectacled person.

References Made:
Madoka: Eternal
Ghostbusters
Sword Art Online Abridged
True Facts: Sea Pig
Puella Magi Madoka Magica (Blooper)
Frasier
2001: A Space Odyssey