Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Steel and Kyubey were surrounded by robots. They were large, bulky, an iron shade of gray with no visible heads, only red visors where the neck area should be, no legs, only a set of rockets that kept them at eye-level, and long gun barrels for arms.
You two have been discovered critiquing movies. That act has been outlawed ever since the first of the year. the robot stated.
“You didn’t tell me these things were coming, WHY?” Steel asked.“Your suffering was too fun.” Kyubey replied.
“Well, because of your sadism, we’re surrounded without weapons and I assume you can’t just consume them?”“One at a time, but I wouldn’t worry. If I get holes shot into me, I’ve got more bodies waiting. YOU, on the other hand...”
In accordance with the new law, you are under arrest and will stand trial at the hands of our lord, Dark-
“AH, SHADDUP!”At that point, a large and heavy hook sailed through the air and smashed into the top of one of the robots. At that point, an anvil sailed out to crush another one as smoke began rolling in, obscuring the entire area. The robots began firing, but judging by the smashing noises, they weren’t doing any good. When the smoke cleared, three people were standing--one was a young woman with dirty blonde hair pulled down in a ponytail, big brown eyes, a black shirt with pink sleeves, a Chunin jacket, military camo pants, sandals, and a large smile on her face. The other had dark hair, a blue trench coat and fedora, a yellow undershirt, a black tie, and no visible face. The final one bore a surprising resemblance to the film critic, but had a ragged denim jacket, a pair of shades, a black T-shirt with ‘Army of Darkness’ written in large red letters, a chainsaw on his belt (which had a skull-shaped buckle), and was considerably more muscular.
“Oh no...it’s my Death Battle copy.” Steel groaned.
When he reviewed the first Twilight movie, Steel had been transported to Forks, Washington in order to help the Council of Dignified Vampires wipe out the Cullens. Two things resulted from this--Edward Cullen being trapped in a coffin in Steel’s basement and reality getting holes punched through it. Various beings had come through it--Doopliss (an ineffectual, evil overlord), Karitoho-Iron (his clone made with the desire to kill him), and Death Battle Steel. He was Steel’s double from a reality where gladiatorial battles to the death were still in fashion...and it showed. Most of the time, he just hung out with Ray or his two compatriots, The Question from DC Comics and Bella, a human/toon hybrid. But sometimes...“Hey, is that any way to thank the guy who saved your butt?” DB!Steel asked.
“We’re FREEDOM FIGHTERS!” Bella exclaimed, “Why do you think we haven’t been making Death Battles lately?”
“This and laziness.” Question stated.“We’re here to take you to our awesome, underground resistance to free Nebraska.” DB!Steel said, “The US Government hasn’t done anything because...well, it’s Nebraska. The state they care less about than Indiana.”
“So, moving here was a BAD idea?” Steel asked.
“Pretty much.” Kyubey said.“Now...” Bella then spoke in her best Schwarzenegger impression, “Come with me if you want to live.”
Question threw down another smoke bomb. When the resulting mists vanished, so did the five fugitives.(A large man with a thin mustache walked over to his closet. He pulled out a Kingdom Hearts shirt before walking out, smirking.
OUTTA THE DVD!
A serious face, a subtle face- You show a lot of faces
The man walked out with a smug look.
TOHOKARI-STEEL
As Steel walked by, he passed a black katana and a jar. Two spirits emerged—a samurai warrior and a woman clad in white.
BLACK SHOGUN AND KAZUMI
Even if you're told so, you still don't know what to do
Steel waved as he passed an anthropomorphic skunk and smacked the head of an anthro tiger wearing a Hawaiian shirt. The tiger wheeled around, looking irritated.
BINDITHESKUNK AND XEMNAS1992
All people have a part they're hiding in themselves, right?
Steel yelped as a girl around his age with long, black hair and lavender eyes quickly hugged him.
AKIA AOI
Like that, like this, like there, I can't say it in words immediately
Steel got free and immediately saw a white, ferret-like creature with a long tail and small, pinkish-red eyes.
KYUBEY
It's you who pretends to be cheerful in front of others
Steel yelled before running away as fast as he could, passing by a shinigami wearing a pink bathrobe and reading a magazine. Not far away was a short Hollow with a large mask, large three-fingered hands, and rather devious red eyes. The Hollow was hauling around a large sack as the shinigami simply sat on a red Lazy-Boy.
JERRY THE SHINIGAMI AND STEVE THE HOLLOW
And you don't whine about things, but-
Steel sighed as he entered a room, where a gray hedgehog with visor/sunglasses was working on a chain gun. He saw Steel and gave the thumbs'-up. Not far away was a man with a big, white beard, a Santa hat, a tuxedo, and a shot glass, which he raised with a grin. Next to him was a vampire, who gave Steel a mocking smirk.
COOLY MCAWESOME, SANTA BOND, AND TONY VALENTINO
Even if 100 years pass, you should be yourself; if you love me, you should shout 'I love you'
Steel sighed, remembering a blue-haired girl and a Filipino boy. A tear rolled down his cheek, but he turned and saw his team before grinning widely.
Ready Go! Fly away! Being yourself is great
Steel sighed as he put a movie into the DVD player, his team crowding around him. He glared at them briefly before sighing.
If you want to cry, you should cry to your heart's content
Steel pressed 'play' on the remote.
I'm behind you
Theme Song: Ready, Go! By May'n
Written by Tohokari-Steel)
The group had reappeared in a dumpster. Steel threw the lid off and took a deep breath.
“HOW did you get us here?” the critic asked.“Comic logic.” Question said as he, Bella, DB!Steel, and Kyubey popped out, “We were commissioned by the head of the resistance to find you and take you to them.”
“O-kay...” Steel said, “Do you have a movie on hand or...?”
“Nope, sorry.” Bella said.
“I DID take a few anime series, though!” DB!Steel exclaimed.
Steel sighed, “I regret being this idiot's genetic double...anyway, let's talk about intros!”“They're the things we love about TV shows, save their actual content. They can be a major reason about why we watch something, because that's the point of a show—to give an audience excited and pumped for the show in question. The same rules apply to anime...although the rules kinda differ.”
“Since most of the time, the theme song isn't in English, it needs to sound good as well as provide some good visuals in order to get some attention. This can either lead to a good, energized tune that also gives something interesting to look at or it can lead to this...”“That intro is still a gaze into madness...” Steel murmured, a look of confusion on his face.
“But we're not here to talk about that mind-screw. We're here to talk about the good stuff. Specifically, my personal favorite anime intros. Now, keep in mind two things.” Steel said, counting off fingers, “One, this is an entirely subjective list. They're the ones that I, PERSONALLY, like. Two, this is NOT an evaluation of what I feel about the anime shows themselves. Some series I like got onto the list, sure, but this is based more on their theme songs. With that out of the way, let's begin. These are my Top 10 Favorite Anime Intros!”
Theme: Unlimited by Aikawa NanaseTop 10 Anime Intros:
Number 10...“Sky's the Limit” from Persona 4: The Animation
“This series was alright, but the intros themselves were rather enjoyable to hear.” Steel said, “It's calm, soothing, catchy, and does a good job showing the main characters and their Personas in question...even though the last one, Naoto, doesn't become a major character until the second half. Before that, she just turns up every now and then.”“Does this kinda clash with the feel of the anime itself, which is kind of an urban fantasy/murder mystery? Kinda, but it's still a nice tune to listen to and has some nice visuals.”
“The anime itself? Okay. This intro? Pretty good.”Number 9...
“We Are” from One Piece
“Yeah, this is the only part of the Big Three of Shonen Anime/Manga that I included. Why? Because Naruto has too many for me to narrow down and most of the intros from Bleach were okay at best.” Steel stated, “This one, however, was the first intro the English dub of the Funimation One Piece dub and...it's pretty good.”“First off, it sums up the premise early on, so no questions on what the ultimate objective is. Secondly, the song itself is a catchy, laid-back, and enjoyably cheesy tune. Third, it shows all the characters that will be appearing in this part of the series as well as their main skills. And fourth, it's voiced by Vic Mignogna, a voice actor who also has proved to be a pretty good singer.”
“Really...what more can I say about this?”Number 8...
“Morning Grace” from Princess Tutu
“...I watched this anime, start-to-finish. And I liked it.” Steel said, dully. He took a sigh before saying, “This officially makes me the kind of person who BRONIES make fun of...if they never actually saw this series for what it was.”“As for the intro, most of the time, I dismiss using public domain songs as either laziness or having no budget. However, I make the exception here because ballet does play a pivotal role and using iconic ballet music does help a lot with the general feel of it.” Steel said, “It also comes with the hushed, soothing lyrics that make you think of something you'd hear in a fairy tale or see at a ballet-”
“I ASSUME!” Steel shouted, defensively.“No one said anything.” Kyubey said.
“Which, considering the themes and story of the anime itself is rather fitting. It's not about flash and adrenaline, but rather about tranquility and atmosphere. That kinda makes it stand out...well, not as much as the next one.”Number 7...
“The Sore Feet Song” from Mushi-Shi
“For the record, this was going to be Oath-Sign from Fate/Zero...but trying to find a good video to use as an example nearly drove me insane, so I went 'scrap it' and took it off the list. Besides, I remembered really liking this one.”
“If I had to describe this opening, it would be 'mellow'. It's one of the most laid-back anime intros I've ever heard and the singer doesn't really make it different. It's not fast-paced, it's actually rather slow and makes you feel relaxed. In tone, Mushi-Shi is the kind of show you watch when you just want to relax and this opening really does a good job of summing that up.”
“Not 'this is going to wow you' or 'prepare for awesomeness'.” Steel said, “But rather 'sit down and enjoy, bro'.”
Number 6...
“Connect” from Puella Magi Madoka Magica
“This is, without a doubt, the best example of a misleading theme I've ever seen when it comes to anime.” Steel said, “Why? Well, this intro makes you think of happy, goofy, magical girl adventures...when, in fact, this is one of the darkest anime I've ever seen. And...it really works.”
“If you want to make a point, one of the best examples is to use a contrast, something to make your point clear by making something that's the complete opposite. How best to show a deconstruction of an otherwise cheery and kind of stale part of anime? An opening that's about as cheery and upbeat as you can imagine.”“For the record, though, having seen the English lyrics and memorized them...it's more fitting than you'd think.” Steel said.
Number 5...Tie between “One Reason” from Deadman Wonderland and the Trigun opening
“These two are pretty much on the list for the exact same reason—the 'want to rock out' factor.”“First of all, Deadman Wonderland.” Steel said, “I...don't really like this series. It always felt like it was never certain about how dark it should be, so it just kept upping the levels, which kinda made it uncomfortable to watch and felt more than a little mean-spirited. Why'd I keep coming back? Three reasons—ONE, general stubbornness. TWO, I thought Crow was cool. And THREE, this awesome theme song. It keeps getting darker, but the theme seems to set it up nicely with its themes of vengeance, the visuals of it being dark and bloody, the tune, and the English singer.”
“In contrast, I really enjoy Trigun.” Steel said, “It seems to know how to simultaneously be fun 90's cheese, but also how to be a rather interesting, character-driven story...and the theme song helps. Seriously, listen to it and try to not air-guitar it. It's IMPOSSIBLE. Add that with some interesting visuals and you've got my attention, no doubt.”Number 4...
“Guns & Roses” from Baccano
“Yeah, my favorite anime series' intro only made it to number four.” Steel said.“Not to diss this anime intro, it sums up exactly what the series itself is—fun insanity. It introduces the characters we'll be seeing, has some pretty cool visuals, and the song itself is really enjoyable to listen to.” Steel said, “It's like the first opening of Durarara!!—it's fun, energized, and just fun to listen to.”
“So, what intros beat the one attached to my favorite anime series? Well, let's find out.”Number 3...
Tie between “Ready, Steady, GO!” from Fullmetal Alchemist and “Again” from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
“Yeah, kinda cheating, but I had two favorite intros from Fullmetal Alchemist and couldn't decide which one. What do you want from me? LEAVE ME ALONE!” Steel shouted, defensively.“In my opinion, Fullmetal Alchemist intros tend to be rather all or nothing. They're either really good or not memorable at all.” Steel said, “My best examples of how good they can be are the second intro from Fullmetal Alchemist and the first one from the rebooted series, Brotherhood.”
“The first intro to FMA was...well, the second category—completely forgettable. Then Ready, Steady, GO! became the intro and it just stuck with me.” Steel said, “It's fun, catchy, and has a real energy to it. Visuals? Some good, some not so much. But it's the song I enjoy most about it.”“The second part was actually a rather solid hit where Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is concerned. This one doesn't start with the energy right off the bat, but rather builds up to its energy, going for a rather atmospheric approach at first with some great visuals to back it up..”
“So, those were the FMA intros I enjoyed—the second of the first and the first of the second..." Steel paused and thought for a second, "I think I turned into Lewis Carroll for a second...”
Number 2...The first Pokemon theme
“Before Pokemon became the bland, repetitive commercial for the games that it is today, there was the original series...which was a slightly LESS bland, repetitive commercial for the games.” Steel said, “But there was still this song. It was energized, it stuck in the head, and it had some really memorable lyrics. This, for many, is the song of a generation, the song that brings people together.”
“But what anime opening defeats this pure, concentrated nostalgia opening? Well...”And my Number 1 Anime Theme Song is...
“Red Fraction” from Black Lagoon
“Yeah, this opening. I love it. Why is that? Let me explain.” Steel said.“For one, it matches the tone of the series, perfectly. It's dark, it's violent, and it has GUNS. It also has an awesome tune, it's catchy, and I kept rewinding to the start when I first heard it. The lyrics that are borderline Engrish? Don't care. It's still cool. The feathers? Kinda weird if you don't know the backstory, but I don't care, it still provides for some interesting visuals...which is weird because, sometimes, there aren't anything besides a black screen with credits.”
“But, in the end, the general feel of this opening fits the anime like a glove. With a good tune to go with it, I think it's understandable why Black Lagoon's opening is my favorite anime intro.” Steel concluded.“I'm Tohokari-Steel, this was Outta the DVD, and I'm outta here.” Steel concluded, continuing on his trek with the three Hosts.
Honorable Mentions: Tanks! from Cowboy Bebop, Oath-Sign from Fate/Zero, Uragiri no Yuuyake from Durarara!!, Go!!! from Naruto, and Ready, Go! from Ookamisan and her Seven Companions.
...Yeah, this is pretty much filler because the movie I wanted to review got pushed back. Last week, it was because I couldn't find a video on a streaming site. This time, because it hasn't arrived from Netflix.
What's that? I left out an opening you like? Well, there are two things I have two say: one, this is MY list, not yours and, as such, is limited to my personal tastes. Two, what's stopping you from making your own list?
And a crossover with my Death Battle Hosts was inevitable. I kept writing about how OTD!Steel hates his Death Battle counterpart when I was on the DB chatroom, so, I figured "Why the heck not?".
I own none of the videos.
